The Undateable Comedy Tour
Hard Rock Live- Orlando, Florida
Starring the stand-up comedians Chris D’Elia (Danny), Ron Funches (Shelly), Brent Morin (Justin) & Rick Glassman (Burski). With David Fynn (Brett) playing host on his first show of the tour.
*There may be a few spoilers but I won’t be just flat-out telling the jokes they delivered. It’s more about my experience.*
I was super excited for this comedy show. It had been a while since I had been to a comedy show and I was excited to see Ron Funches for the first time. I love the t.v. show Undateable that these comedians star in. You should really check it out if you haven’t caught any of it yet. But most likely you have if you’re reading this. The last comedy show I went to was actually Chris D’Elia in Tampa about 5 months ago. So I had experienced his comedy before and I already knew that I loved him. I had also seen Brent Morin at The Oddball Comedy Festival in August, who I enjoyed but didn’t know much about at the time. There are a couple of reasons why I was most excited for Ron Funches. I have now caught up with the weekly release of Undateable and Ron’s character Shelly has easily become my favorite. He’s an adorable, nerdy, stoner, teddy bear of a man who fits perfectly in the cast. His laugh is the most contagious, adorable thing you will ever hear. On top of all of that, he’s been on both of Doug Benson’s podcasts a few times, which I listen to on a regular basis. Some of his high comments have made me tear up from laughing so hard (Check out episode 17 & 65 of Getting Doug with High).
I prepared for this evening like I do for any occasional event I have planned, with some joint rolling. I rolled two joints, one for some before show preparations and one to give or hopefully smoke with Ron Funches. Always a second for a fellow stoner. This show is in the middle of Universal Studios in Orlando at the Hard Rock live. Where would we get away with smoking a joint you ask? We had no clue. My boyfriend suggested in the parking garage but I was paranoid and didn’t want to make our friends that were not partaking wait for us while we creepily walked around the E.T. level looking for a place to take a quick few hits. We pretty much gave up at that point with hundreds, maybe thousands of people surrounding us our whole trek from the garage up to the front doors of the Hard Rock. So we sat down in our seat, two rows away from the stage defeated and waited for the show to start. After about 10 minutes of waiting I decided I was going to investigate. They had to have a smoking area or a cubby hole hidden away from everyone that I could wreak with pot smoke. I considered asking the long dread headed guy that showed us to our seats, but I’m too shy and nervous for that. Almost instantly I find the smoking area and it is completely empty and decent sized enough that I assume we will get away with smoking a quick joint. I text my boyfriend and tell him to meet me there. He arrives a minute later and I light it up. All is going well, we get half way through the joint with no problems. Then dread-head security walks out, looks around and heads back inside. My boyfriend and I go from straight paranoid to relieved in seconds. A minute later, another security guard walks out and come straight up to us. “Its cool and all, but you guys are smoking up the whole room in there. If you don’t want to get kicked out, you might wanna put it out,” he says. Not in a mean, “what the fuck are you doing?” kinda way. More of a, “I completely understand, this is a comedy show. But I’ll get in trouble if I let you continue” kinda way. I contemplated asking him if he wanted a hit, but I didn’t pull through. He was cool, so we put it out to avoid getting kicked and headed back inside. Happy that we somewhat succeeded, we sat down hoping it was enough to kick in before the first comedian hit the stage.
First out on the stage was David Fynn, an adorable, funny, British guy who plays the gay bartender Brett on the show. At this point, I am fucking feeling it and I’m paranoid as hell being only two rows back, that I am going to get picked on by one of the comedians. One of the first things David Fynn says is that he is not a comedian and that the rest of the guys told him to work the crowd if he ran out of things to say. So he starts picking random people and asking them where they are from and luckily I don’t get picked on because at this point I would probably fuck even that up. Even though I was literally sitting in the place I am from. He does a quick bit about how he immerses himself in his rolls and has to explain to his wife why he plays with dicks for his part on Undateable. He’s a super funny guy and did a great job at keeping the crowd entertained. The first comedian he introduces to the stage is Ron Funches. Hooray! Ron comes out and of course has me almost in tears when he tells his joke about the appropriate time to use the word “nigga.” He makes a quick reference to a Chocobo from Final Fantasy and my boyfriend laughs so hard that it seems like he’s the only nerd in the crowd. Ron Funches recognizes this and adds “you and me man,” and points to my boyfriend who is trying to control his laughter. Almost too soon, Ron Funches thanks the crowd and David Fynn comes back to the stage. Ron Funches did an amazing job and I would love to see him do some stand up in a different environment where he was allotted more time.
Next up is Rick Glassman! A nerdy, skinny white kid who looks like he just left the geek squad to try his luck in comedy. He plays Burski on the show, the creepster. His character on the show makes me laugh a lot and he plays it very well. I had no idea what to expect of his stand up and to be honest, I was a little disappointed. His whole bit was about him fucking a 10. A 10 as in a woman who is unbelievably beautiful. One that you would see on the cover of a magazine, one that makes your dick limp you are so nervous to fuck her. So he tells his story about him meeting this 10 and praises himself for his accomplishment of getting her for a short time, while also making fun of himself for fucking it up. If the story was 5 times shorter and he threw a few more jokes not related to the 10 in there, I would have enjoyed it. Instead I was just waiting for the story to be over. He seemed like a dick in real life, but I don’t know him. It could have just been how his comedy portrayed him.
Finally Brent Morin hits the stage, wine glass in hand looking a little tipsy. He starts off by telling us how much he’s been drinking lately and makes it obvious he is probably on his 4th or 5th glass of wine. Or he does a great job at acting like it, which could definitely be the case. His stand up was great. He did one bit that I had heard from The Oddball comedy tour that I loved and it was just as funny the second time. He throws out a last-minute joke that seems to come straight from his drunken thoughts at the time about Brad Pitt running out of cum. It makes me want to roll around on the ground laughing, mostly because of the delivery. He seemed to think it was so funny and so terrible at the same time. He stops and leans over to laugh at his own joke and I loved it. He is adorable.
Last but certainly not least, Chris D’Elia is up to the mic. I was instantly excited for his impressions of women and shit talking of people in general. What I got, was what I imagine my boyfriend doing stand up would be like. I enjoyed it because I somewhat related, but it didn’t make me want to go home and see what other forms of entertainment I could find involving him, like I did when I saw him in November. Before he started he informed the crowd that he was trying out some new material and asked for us to put our phones away. The material released on Netflix this month is what I saw him touring on in November, so I was getting none of that this evening. All of his new material was pretty much about hating people. Jesus, I hate people. I definitely relate. But for some reason it just didn’t satisfy me the way that his annoyance of women did. He is definitely a funny guy, but this just didn’t do it for me. Before I knew it, it was over. Maybe if he had more time I would have been more satisfied, but everyone deserved more time. The show was too short!
All in all, it was a great show. I’m glad I went, I’m glad I was high and I’m glad a brought an extra joint. We stood in line for about 15 minutes to meet the cast after the show. It was more like, “run and stand in front of the cast, get your picture taken, then hurry and get the fuck out-of-the-way.” So there was no meeting. I threw in a “I love you guys, you were great” as I took my position for my picture. I ran all the way to the end where Ron Funches was standing and told him I had brought a present for him and placed the Blackberry Brandy rolled joint in his hand. He quickly said “I love you!” and squished his face against mine just in time for the picture to be taken. Bunches of Funches hugs! I didn’t get to smoke with Rob Funches, but it was a success in the end anyways. He ended up using my Instagram picture above on his own Instagram later that night, but didn’t give me photo credit. That’s okay, he can have it cause he’s the best. 🙂
My final rating of THE UNDATEABLE COMEDY TOUR: 8 out of 10