MALLRATS 2: THAT KID IS STILL ON THE ESCALATOR!

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Mallrats 2 seems to be a real life thing.

Or Kevin Smith is trying to pull an early April Fools joke on the world.

Lets just hope its a real thing.

When I first heard that a Mallrats 2 could be in the works I was a little worried. I’m not quite sure why. I mean, I love Clerks 2 but definitely not as much as its predecessor. Its been 20 years since the release of Mallrats and it only gets more and more attention as the time goes on and as Kevin Smith’s rap sheet grows. To many typical Clerks or Dogma fans, this is one of Kevin Smiths worst films. But to a true Kevin Smith fan, it’s just as amazing as the rest. It reminds the 80s babies of their teenage years, it makes comic book nerds feel like stars, and I can only imagine it makes true mallrats feel like they’re not alone. I imagine there are still Mallrats out there. I guess as long as there is hormone driven, bored ass teenagers, there will always be IRL Mallrats.

I personally cannot contain my excitement that Mallrats 2 is being made. I have so many unanswered questions! First off, Did the escalator kid live?! Did he just lose a limb? Is he going to be a 25-year-old paraplegic who won’t leave the escalator because he feels more connected to his legs when he’s on it? Okay, maybe that’s a little fucked up. But I have to know! Another thing, Is Brodie still hosting his own talk show? Will Rene be back? Or is Shannon Doherty too busy getting her Education Connection on? Do Brandi and Quint go back to Universal for a 20 year anniversary only to discover that they can’t renew their vows while their boat gets ferociously devoured by a animatronic shark because fuck the man for tearing it down!? It was better than that bullshit Simpsons Ride! Is Tricia still fucking everyone “in the name of science?” What’s Jay and Silent Bob up to these days? Let’s be honest, we probably know the answer to that questions. I mean, I didn’t see the TV specials they did but they are probably just hanging around selling pot, talking about fucking, or causing chaos where ever shit is happening at the moment. So many questions. Regardless if my questions are answered or not, I’m totally fucking stoked.

Okay, so the movie is not really named “That kid is still on the escalator.” I mean, it could be. Maybe I’m psychic. But one of the first things I thought when I heard about this movie being in the works is, I wonder if 20 years later, that kid is still on the escalator.

That kid is back on the escalator!” -Brodie.

The title that has been showing up everywhere is Mallrats 2: Die Hard in a Mall. This title comes from Kevin Smith himself but Kevin Smith 20 years ago when a Producer of Mallrats, Jim Jacks insisted they make a sequel before they even knew how well the first one was going to do. Well, it tanked. Mallrats didn’t get its love until many years later when it became a cult hit. A serious talk of a sequel never happened in studio but Jim Jacks always craved for it. Kevin Smith talks about this on his Hollywood Babble Podcast: 204. Check it out here:

As Kevin Smith states on this podcast, the reason the sequel to Mallrats was FINALLY being talked about is because of the death of the enthusiastic Mallrats loving producer, Jim Jacks. He talks about how Jacks always wanted a sequel to happen. Every time Kevin Smith would see Jacks he would bring up making a sequel, “It was one of those things that was an ongoing theme in his life.” So when Jacks passed away Kevin Smith felt like he needed to honor this man, and what an amazing way to do it.  All Kevin Smith movies show how much love and passion he puts into them. This film has a whole other aspect of love and passion to throw in there. To honor a true believer of Kevin Smiths early work and someone who also put his own heart and soul into the first film.

Seriously, I don’t know how he does it. I love everything he’s ever made. That I’ve seen that is. He makes the kind of movies that you can watch over and over again and laugh at every single time. That is what the definition of a good movie is to me. Fuck this top-notch award-winning movie bullshit. Those movies are not good movies. It takes more than making me cry, or making me hate the fucking world I live in, or inspiring me to make a difference to make me consider a movie as good. Some of them are fucking terrible. I don’t want to see a movie and come out of it depressed. I want a movie that I can come home from a stressful day at work, sit down, smoke a bowl and laugh my ass off. I want something that comforts me. Something that puts me in that “fuck the world! What the fuck ever, forever man!” Kinda mood. That’s what I want in a movie and that’s what Kevin Smith gives me time after time. Okay, to be fair. Not all Oscar & Golden Globe winning movies are terrible. Sometimes I like them. It just infuriates me that comedy and horror never get a fighting chance in those things. Back on topic, Kevin Smith movies rule. Okay, you may disagree with me on this one- but even TUSK. It was great. It was disgusting, I will give you that. Unrealistic? Maybe. But that’s what makes it fun. The dialogue, as always, was amazing; and only Kevin Smith could make something as disgusting as a man-made into a Walrus fighting with his creator who is wearing a Walrus suit so fucking funny. It was ridiculous and that is what made it amazing, I don’t care what you say. So to finish this off I am going to list Kevin Smith films (directed) in order of my least favorite to my most favorite. Also, I can’t wait for Clerks III, Yoga Hosers & Moose Jaws either! “Like Jaws, but with a Moose.”

11. Red State

10. Tusk

9. Cop Out

8. Jersey Girl

7. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

6. Chasing Amy

5. Clerks II

4. Dogma (Watched a million times as a little 12-year-old girl)

3. Zach & Miri Make a Porno (Made me wanna make a porno, fyi.)

2. Mallrats

1. Clerks

BT Dubs- If i ever meet Kevin Smith I will first, ask him to smoke a blunt with me. Second, i will ask “please finish writing Jaws 5 and make that shit happen! Bring it back man! Also, please write some episodes of the new X-Files. Oh Oh Oh! Anddddd the new Daredevil show. K Thanks”. ❤

Check out some of my sweet Kevin Smith toys & let me know what you think about Mallrats 2 being in the works in the comments. 🙂

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